"For This Child She Prayed"

My Breastfeeding Story

I found out that I was pregnant at 6 and 1/2 weeks. I was then 39. I've always wanted my own child to love and care for instead of being an auntie, which don't get me wrong, I absolutely love being. I was an auntie for 11 years, always struggling with being jealous of my sibling and others for having the family I wish I could have. I remember driving home from the doctor after officially being tested for pregnancy and having an ultrasound. Yep, there was a little one growing inside of me for sure! No doubt about it! I could hardly see clearly enough to drive I was crying so much from elation! Me, a mommy. Me? Mommy? Yep! I wanted to be the best mommy possible for as long as possible. I wanted to do right by my child in every possible way, so breastfeeding was just a natural part of it. I didn't ever have to think about whether or not I should breastfeed. Why wouldn't I? The Lord gave me boobs mainly for this purpose I believe. He set it up where a woman can produce and feed milk from her body to her child who came from that same body. This is amazing to me! Side note: cow milk is for cows. This is also how God set it up.

I began compiling a prayer list for the well-being of my child, including the ability to breastfeed for at least my child's first year. I prayed over my breasts daily and for my child that all would be well with his ability to latch on. It's funny how the Lord truly does exceed your prayers when they're in line with His will (which breastfeeding definitely is). He blessed me with 2 incredibly amazing-did I say AMAZING-lactation consultants/friends/sisters who have been by my side the whole time! They will never know how thankful I am for them taking the time to pour into mine and my son's lives the way they have. I'm an avid reader and researcher by nature, so I was somewhat prepared for the whole breastfeeding experience, or so I thought LOL! They answered every text and phone call during pregnancy, during my week-long hospital delivery stay, and even now, and my son is 11 months old. The Lord knew I'd need encouragement along the way for sure as my family was against my doing this. At my baby shower my family told me I'd gotten everything I needed all except bottles and formula. I told them boldly I didn't need any of that as I was serious and committed to exclusively breastfeeding. I got a LOT of flack from them on my journey about this. But God in His faithfulness has been sending other mothers across my path, mostly seemingly randon strangers, to encourage me and let me know that what I'm doing for my son is best. Amen! The fight to breastfeed my son has been and still is very real and fierce....my son is worth every punch I take and give!

I remember having to fight (not physically) with a couple of nurses at the hospital telling them not to give my son formula which they ended up doing anyway as my milk supply was a little slow in coming in. The colostrum was there and flowing, but to them it wasn't enough to make my son gain enough weight to leave the hospital. I kept telling them to just let me continue breastfeeding him. This was a very trying time to say the least. The hospital lactation lady and my WIC lactation ladies were all over this for me! I knew then for a certaitly that I was doing the right thing. I've told and will continue to tell all pregnant mommies that I come in contact with to please breastfeed, or at least try it for a month, and let formula be the absolute last resort.

Breastfeeding up to this point has been an amazing and intensely intimate experience, unlike anything I've ever experienced. I remember when my son first latched on at the hospital and stay latched. It's like we were then at that moment connected for life. He and I have both had to learn and grow in this area together, and honestly I must say the journey thus far has been absolutely beautiful and glorious. He looks at me, I look at him, I talk with him, I sing to him, he now hums with me on some songs, he caresses my chest while he feeds which is the sweetest thing and is in NO way sexual or perverted. When he wants to feed, he'll put his little sweet hands up to my chest in an attempt to move my blouse and just look at me with those precious eyes....I'm giving life to my son every time he feeds. This truth just blows my mind! To me, breastfeeding is a powerful thing, a sacred and holy ministry that moms are endowed with to bless their children. I believe it's actually a worship unto the Lord.

I know that in choosing to breastfeed my child, I've already given him a huge head start to having a good and healthy life. My diet has changed as a breastfeeding mom, which means no occasional moscato or chocolate anything (brownies oh brownies...how I miss you so!) or home-brewed tea or my spicy Mexican habit or pizza or any dairy or hotdogs or....the list goes on and on! It's ALL worth it to make sure that my son is getting the healthiest milk possible from me. I've since added a year to the length of time I want to breastfeed him. I want do so at least until he's 2, even if it's just me pumping and him drinking from a cup. I'm praying for baby-led weaning which I'm hopeful won't be before he's 2. And again, he's almost one, so family and fight.....

The most frustrating part about breastfeeding isn't the act of doing it. It's pumping at work and praying for no interruptions! I honestly don't think pumping was part of God's plan. I have to do it in order to maintain the milk supply and feed my son while he is at daycare. If I'm stressed or rushed at work, the milk will not flow. Or, when I'm pumping and have to stop to help a guest, I then have to wait and prime my breasts again before the flow returns. It's really frustrating and I've cried many times at work because of this. If I could be a housewife during this precious time, I would, but a Sista must work! Again, the Lord is faithful.

All in all, I'm so glad I've been allowed to have this opportunity to bless my little one in this way. I'll forever be an advocate of this beautiful act!

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See her custom made BeautyMarks Legacy Jewelry breastmilk pendant on our website www.IamLifeDoulaing.com in the Legacy Vine Shop

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